I still clearly remember my first girlfriend. Her name was Alison and she was hot! Of course everything and everyone is hot when you’re five. Alison was hotter than all the other girls because she shared her school lunch with me. Just as I started giving serious consideration to asking her to marry me, she ended it all. She broke up with me to share her lunch with Roy. Even now as a mature grown man I can still feel a small pang of pain in my chest. How on earth is this possible? I haven’t seen Alison in over thirty years?
It all boils down to fear and quite literally it’s the fear of dying.
We are not born as adults. We are not born with jobs, money, bank accounts, freedom and independence. We are born as helpless, cute little blobs of flesh. When we are born we are unable to communicate very well. At best we can only signal our discontent by crying and hope that caring parents will understand and find the source of unhappiness.
As babies we’re also generally unable to get around very well. When we do start getting better at mobility we’re generally locked up in a crib or a play pen. Our parents and carers don’t do this to us out of spite, but to protect us from injury. As babies we have no experience which makes our judgement very poor. Getting a job and making money as a baby is unthinkable.
My point is that human babies, compared to all the other animals on this planet are useless. Left by themselves they would die. Babies are unable to fend for themselves. Babies know this. Any threat of rejection to a baby would lead to the destruction of the baby. When you’re a baby and unable to help yourself this is a very scary thought.
The subconscious mind is the protective mind, and it has a permanent memory. The subconscious mind exists to protect you from danger. To fully protect you from danger it has a memory of every single sight, sound, taste, touch, smell and emotion you’ve ever experienced in your entire existence. How many times do you need to burn yourself before you know that, for the rest of your life, burning yourself is not a good thing?
Of course, the first time a baby is left alone for too long the baby realizes that it’s very vulnerable and will become afraid. Left a little longer and the baby will become afraid that it could die. This is what the ultimate consequence of being fully rejected would mean to a baby. As soon as mom or dad arrives to help, the baby will calm down and forget about this traumatic event very quickly at a conscious level. This is not the case at the subconscious level.
The next time the baby senses it is alone it is reminded of its prior near death experience and screams its lungs out! This is why some people find loneliness so difficult and frightening. At some level it’s still a near death experience. The subconscious is incapable of forgetting.
Perhaps as the child is growing up it will lose sight of its parents for a few moments while shopping in a busy shopping centre. Again, the all remembering subconscious mind sees this as a life threatening experience and the young child goes into a panic attack only to be discovered moments later by the surprised parents. The very thought of being abandoned or rejected causes tremendous fear in the child based on experience.
At this point we have a young person that’s conditioned to panic whenever faced with issues of abandonment or rejection. To make matters worse, every time this child experiences anything like rejection or abandonment, it will compound the original fear.
It ‘s then no small wonder that when this person experiences a death in the family, a divorce or a romantic break-up, it’s going to hurt a lot. This person is re-experiencing all of the previous fear that has anything to do with abandonment and rejection. As a subconscious level this is seen as life threatening and is labelled as pain, suffering and heart break. Even though this person is now a mature, financially independent person, this person has been conditioned since birth to feel the fear of death at rejection and abandonment.
Unfortunately, most people will try to resolve this fear, labelled as heart break, at a conscious level. This is a bit like trying to have a conversation with the actors on TV while you’re watching TV. The people on TV can’t hear you. It’s probably going to take a lot of time and cost a lot of money and it probably still won’t work very well. To resolve subconscious hurt, you need to resolve it at the source of the pain. You need to resolve it at the subconscious level.
Fortunately, broken heart hypnotherapy makes it very easy to communicate directly with the subconscious mind. It’s easy to recondition the subconscious mind as its function is to protect you. As soon as the subconscious mind realizes that it’s misinterpreting information, which causes you pain and suffering, it will come to your aid. The subconscious mind will assist by re-framing the information so that it is seen in a more positive way. Once experiences that were originally seen as painful have been converted to positive experiences, they can’t hurt you anymore. This brings an end to the pain, suffering and heart break.